Number 4 | Go to a casino …

On hearing that I’ve never been to a casino my friend, Russ, said, “Right. We’re going.”

I should point out that Leicester isn’t exactly known for its casinos, or its glamour, or even for its good nightlife in general. I mean, if you want to be stabbed, sure, come out “in town” here. Still, we went along to Grosvenor Casino, me being entirely oblivious to what lay ahead.

Now, for someone who has watched years of ‘Hustle’ and has been to the ACTUAL LAS VEGAS, what I was expecting was glamour. Ladies in elegant dresses, men in tuxedos. What I got were men in trainers and cheap jackets, and barely any women at all. The table attendants (croupiers? Let’s not go that far) were the best dressed people in the room.

My first mistake was ordering a cocktail at the bar, and then finding out that tea and coffee was free. What was I thinking?! Why would I voluntarily pay for an alcoholic drink when there is FREE TEA (my goodness, I really am British)?! It didn’t really matter. Russ paid for it, anyway (thanks, pal!)

And then it was on to a roulette table. Russ informed me that I wasn’t allowed to leave without putting on one bet on SOMETHING. So we went with roulette, apparently the easiest game to play. It’s just choosing numbers and colours, innit?

The attendant gave me a speech about what to do, to which I smiled and nodded, understanding one word in about 20. We were the only people at the table which meant I could take as long as I liked, choosing where to put my chips (oh yes, the lingo is right) … And despite not knowing anything, I won £23! YES MATE! I’m taking that as solid proof that I am indeed a Casino Champion, and have no further need to prove this. However, it’s made me want to go again … And again … Which is probably not a good thing.

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