I am going to apologise now to anyone who likes and appreciates John Shuttleworth (aka comedian Graham Fellows). I am not one of them.

I volunteer as a first aider at The Little Theatre in Leicester. On the night that John Shuttleworth was on (as part of the Leicester Comedy Festival 2017), I went along to do my duty and took my mum for a free evening of comedy, because I’m nice like that. And as a first aider, I get a spare ticket. But that’s beside the point.

It was the worst thing I have ever seen, and I’ve sat through, ‘Pygmalion’.

I don’t even know how to describe it. I suppose if you know the character, and have followed him for years, you’ll understand what he was waffling about. But as someone who’s never seen him, I have no idea who Rhiannon is, why she had an affair with someone else, why there’s a caravan involved somewhere along the line … I gave up. I found him too waffly, too mumbly. Too boring.

And there were a ton of kids there! KIDS! To watch a moaning Yorkshireman waffle and whinge his way through life, throwing in some songs for good measure (which were actually quite amusing)! But it all just baffled me. It was not my type of humour at all. *And* the line, “eggs and gammon / poor Rhiannon” was stuck in my head for days.

But hey, the plus side … It’s one more thing to add to my list.


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