I’m still not sure how to write that word … ‘zipwire’, ‘zip wire’, ‘Zip Wire’? Either way I did one of those today and it was epic!

My lovely dad came along to accompany me and be in charge of photo taking. I signed up to borrow a GoPro as well, to record my descent (and, presumably, my death should that happen).

The zip wire was basically a massive crane with a wire running from one end of Victoria Park to about midway; quite obvious, but amazing how many dog walkers and joggers passing by didn’t even give it a second glance. The men running it (of course they were men) were exactly the type you’d expect – “outdoorsy”, wholesome sorts, with tans, shorts and lots of hair. Calling each other “dude”. Those sorts of men.

Once I was strapped into my harness (“Just step into it like it’s a big pair of trousers”) it was time to step inside The Cage. Along with three other participants with were strapped into the cage, our harnesses hooked SAFELY onto the railings. Blonde Haired Man was in the cage with us, making lots of “jokes” about how they’ve never had any injuries so far. As the cage was hoisted up the crane, it was blowing slightly in the breeze – it was scary enough in the tiny amount of wind we had, so I could only imagine how terrifying it would be in really windy conditions. As we got to the top and looked down at the park (BAD IDEA) it reminded me of the scene in ‘Jurassic Park: The Lost World’ when the little kid gets into the safety cage with Eddie, well above the trees, and is able to watch two Tyrannosauruses run at their camper van underneath … Anyway …

I was the last person to leave the cage, with the instruction of, “Just sit on the edge then push yourself off.” The harness, sadly, doesn’t allow you to sit all the way down, you kind of just hang there. Rather than pushing myself off, I pretty much fell out of the cage, clinging onto my safety rope for dear life until actually I realised I don’t need to hang on. Apparently the cable can hold six tonnes, which is always reassuring.

Once I got to the other end, crashing into the podium like the graceful beast I am, it was time to get unhooked. Sporty Man unhooked my harness and safety cable and told me to go down the ladder, where John will undo the harness. I went down said ladder (easily the scariest part of the whole experience), turned to John and aid, “Are you the guy who’s going to undress me?” Very much not what I meant. I got unhooked, I said thank you and I walked back to join my dad and get an ice cream from the ice cream van, because I am an adult and can do that.

I also raised £128 for the Y, so that’s a good thing too.

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